God walking before me.

Wow! God works in crazy ways. This week at school, it is missions week. To be completely honest, I wasn't that excited about it. I mean, I like missions, I have a heart for missions, but for a college student, it is honestly just another week. When, I found out that our focus was on Haiti, I got a little more excited, but still just another week. Well, God has really been speaking to me this week about a lot of different things.

Monday afternoon I watched the video, "Fruitcake and Ice cream." Oh my goodness! It was truly a beautiful and precious story. It reminded me to never, ever give up on someone. God has placed me where I am for a reason. I am to live courageously for Him, never loosing focus of my goal-bringing people to Him. "Fruitcake" in the story did not give up on Ashley (if you have not seen this-GO look it up...NOW!). Ahhh, I love it! I sat in my chair, sobbing. Tears of joy and tears of sadness (go watch it and find out why!). God can use anyone!

Tuesday, was chapel. Again, like I said earlier the focus was on Haiti. They showed a video, which of course made me cry and want to go back immediately. I started to think about my trip. I am SO thankful for that opportunity. God revealed things to me that week in Haiti that have become more real to me over the past year. God's glory was shown to me in a way I have never experienced before. Haiti now has a part of my heart. After leaving chapel Tuesday, all I could think about were my Haitian friends. Oh, how I love them! When I see pictures, my heart literally feels like it is coming out of my chest! I smile and most of the time cry. I love these beautiful people so much.

Wednesday, I was reminded how awesome the church is. I have been going to First Baptist Cleveland's youth group on Wednesday nights to hang out, and eventually get to know some of the students. It has honestly been a blessing to me to see students worship the Lord. God is going to use that generation to do BIG things for the Kingdom! I just know it...

Today, Thursday, God whispered into my ear at chapel. He said, "Emily, I am walking before you. No worries, dear. No worries." All throughout this week, I have been struggling with questions and thoughts like these: "I want to give my life totally and completely to the Lord. How the heck do I do that?" "What does a life fully abandoned to Jesus Christ even look like?" "What am I doing with my life?" "What am I going to major in?" "Is God even listening to my prayers? I NEED to know what to do?"

As you can well see, I am obviously not trusting in the almighty King of Kings, who holds everything in His hands, who has good planned for my life, who cares about me and you more than anything, who can handle big and nasty stuff. Yep, that's me, ye of little faith.

Jesus, my Lord and Savior is walking in front of me. He is holding me. This is a stressful time in my life, but I am slowly learning to let God direct my life-not me. I have learned when I direct my life, it turns out to be a big mess full of worry and more stress! Not good!

God is teaching me a lot right now, and I am excited to see what He has in store. I pray and hope to write back in a few weeks or months and let you know how awesome God is and what He is doing in my life.

Life is Hard

Being away from home is hard. I miss my mom and dad a lot. I actually miss my brother and dog too! College is hard. There are tons of papers, assignments, and work to be done. Switching churches is hard. Fitting in is hard. Making friends is hard. I have found out that I am not very good at making new friends at all. I guess all this to say, that I have found life to be pretty hard sometimes. I know God will take care of me, provide for me, guide me, and just hold my hands and wipe my tears. I am thankful I have a relationship with Christ. I am thankful that I can call and talk to Him anytime!